Seeing a man or woman you will love to marry is like seeing a marital seed you will love to plant. Then the proposal and accepting of the proposal is like going to pick that wonderful marital seed from the ground or wherever. The courtship stage is like happily moving on with this marital seed in your hand, joyfully showing it to everyone around you, “Oh, what a wonderful marital seed I have found to plant”, you start gladly visualising and admiring the awesome marriage this marital seed will eventually become. Then afterwards comes the deal day of the wedding, with joys in the heart and ceaseless smiles on your faces, you both are joined together as husband and wife. Remember this is like both of you planting the marital seed on a good ground.
Henceforth, the challenges and storms begins, the heart starts panting, you start wondering for the first time, “What manner of seed is this?”
“Did I make the right choice of a seed?”
You start looking with anxiety to see what it grows to be.
Note: When a man and woman approaches the Clergy to join them in marriage, having satisfied every marital rites, the Clergy weds them with a Spiritual seal, pronounce them husband and wife (nothing more than that)!
Now, after the wedding the couples will have to go home together and start nurturing the seed they’ve both planted to see it grow. And how they nurture it determines weather it will grow or not. The application of character now comes into play and the question now rest on the fact of what kind of attitude is one contributing to the growth of the marriage union?
It takes an extra work and love-nuturing for a husband and wife to grow beyond that point of just being a husband and wife to the point of being friends, lovers, companions, soul mates and even to a coddle-cosy-rosy union.
Such attitudes of selfishness, nagging, unloveliness, unromantic, insincere, greedy, procrastinating, disobedient, dirty, untruthful, argumentative, unfaithful; lacking wisdom, lacking discretion, having poor understanding ability, being too materialistic etc., All this attitudes kills marriage union. Illiteracy is the major factor that kill any organisation, because we all need knowledge either by studying through books, oral tuition or through learning from other peoples experience in order to grow our mental capacity, and when that knowledge is lacking then we are illiterate in that particular area. Therefore parents and guidance should concentrate more on building their children and wards more with Biblical and marital knowledge before giving them out in marriage to prevent offences before time. And young adults should make sure they read good number of marital books and books on psychology or human behaviour before going into marriage so as to be able deal with personal bad attitudes and to be able to face the challenges of your spouse’s attitude on the marriage journey.
A marital seed is nothing else than love. Love no matter how or where it is found needs the cooperation of both couples with sincerity and honesty of heart to see that this love grow. Love does not need the effort of one person to grow, it needs the conscious effort of giving and taking of love from both couples to see it grow because any love that is always coming from one person while the other is unlovely and unresponsive to the other’s love, such kind of love does not make sense. It is not sweet and it doesn’t last.
Every good marriage relationship has a good love relationship and every bad or struggling marriage relationship has a poor love structure. There is no way couples can build a happy marital union without first building a good love structure that will house or carry the marriage. The love serves not just as a foundation for the marriage but as the entire building for the marriage.
The best way to build love relationship is by first building a relationship with God. And because God is love, He gives us the in-flow of love into our hearts to share to others.
Secondarily, we follow God’s precepts of love building to love others and response to other’s love through the circle of God’s Commandment, by so doing we will build a long lasting marriage-love relationship.
Thanks so much for your time.
God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.
Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano.
God bless you 