When we start talking of love, knowledge and understanding, we are simply talking of Parental care because a true loving parents should be able to love, know and understand their children and wards with time of self observation and care to the family.

From our childhood till date we may not boast of having a family where all our family members understands us perfectly. And similarly, we may have seen a lot of relationships and marriages that have broken up and torn apart, we may have also met many divorced couples who still love each other even after they divorced, the reason they divorced was not for lack of love but that they couldn’t really understood each other and because they couldn’t continue to tolerate the bad lifestyle of the other person!

I wrote in some of my previous posts on Whatsapp and Facebook that the major cause of Marital conflicts is not the lack of love but the lack of understanding.

Understanding is the power of comprehending the reason why people or things react the way they do without picking offence with them. If a lecturer perfectly understands his/her students individually or if students understands their lecturer very well that is when good lecturing and learning can effectively take place.

Understanding goes beyond the point of knowing the person to the point of rightly understanding why the person behaves the way he/she does. One good thing about understanding is that it helps us to be able to love someone indefinitely. Understanding is knowing the person and being able to relate with him or her. It has a lot to do with emotional intelligence.

Just like having empathy for someone will make us to slow down and try to walk in the shoes of the person as long as we love them. The deeper our empathy for people, the deeper and healthier will our love for them be!

Loving and understanding each other in a relationship makes it easier for couples to grow together. Having a genuine love for each other help us to have a good mindset to understand ourselves and allowing our heart to be filled with understanding also creates an amazing desires for the love to grow.

It is better and healthier to marry someone who understands you perfectly than to marry someone who knows you. The reason is this: Someone who knows you may be able to know how you behave, for example that you gets angry easily, you wears glasses at afternoon but he or she may not know why you get angry easily or why you wear sun shield glasses at afternoon. But someone who understands you should know these things and how to help you cope and offer solution to your problem.

When partners understands each other, arguments and conflicts can be resolved quickly and easily.

If we love people but don’t understand their weaknesses, we will never be able to tolerate them or offer solution to help them overcome their weakness and if they don’t understand us, it will be hard for them to follow our instructions or live harmoniously with us.

The more people fight and quarrel in a relationship, the less love and attraction they feel for each other. And misunderstanding is the Senior lecturer of the institution called Conflict.

Love is not enough in every relationship and marriage. It is important that we try our best possibly to know more about ourselves and to understand the very reasons of our individual actions.

Genuine love is strengthened by the willingness to understand. Love without understanding will fade as flowers fades without water.

In conclusion: for any marriage or relationship whether between a husband and wife or between we and God, love is essentially needful, good knowledge is the backbone to hold such relationship and always nurturing a good understanding between each other is the life that makes that relationship or marriage living.

One of the problems in many marriages is that one person will always want to be the one to be love, understood, cared for and cherished but him or she will not want to do the same for the other person. Such kind of behaviour brings problem into the home. It takes the both parties, the husband and the wife to make their marriage to work. The love, knowledge, understanding, patience, sacrifices and appreciation of one person alone is not enough to make it work. The two must join hands and hearts together to make it work. Marriage is a Cooperate venture.

May God help us to understand each other the more in Jesus Christ mighty name. Amen Feel free to share

God bless you greatly.

Continue standing strong in God and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic O. Akano

There is nothing that annoys a man than when his wife doesn’t submit to him and there is nothing that annoys a woman than when her husband doesn’t love her. If we will achieve marital happiness then we need to submit and love our spouse. Disobedience destroys marital happiness.

Women stop picking up issues with your husband when he is stressed. Stress makes men furious. And don’t bring up issues when he wants sex so that you won’t spoil his mode. The right time to deliberate issues is after a satisfactory sex when his mind is calm enough.

Seeing a man or woman you will love to marry is like seeing a marital seed you will love to plant. Then the proposal and accepting of the proposal is like going to pick that wonderful marital seed from the ground or wherever. The courtship stage is like happily moving on with this marital seed in your hand, joyfully showing it to everyone around you, “Oh, what a wonderful marital seed I have found to plant”, you start gladly visualising and admiring the awesome marriage this marital seed will eventually become. Then afterwards comes the deal day of the wedding, with joys in the heart and ceaseless smiles on your faces, you both are joined together as husband and wife. Remember this is like both of you planting the marital seed on a good ground.

Henceforth, the challenges and storms begins, the heart starts panting, you start wondering for the first time, “What manner of seed is this?”
“Did I make the right choice of a seed?”
You start looking with anxiety to see what it grows to be.

Note: When a man and woman approaches the Clergy to join them in marriage, having satisfied every marital rites, the Clergy weds them with a Spiritual seal, pronounce them husband and wife (nothing more than that)!

Now, after the wedding the couples will have to go home together and start nurturing the seed they’ve both planted to see it grow. And how they nurture it determines weather it will grow or not. The application of character now comes into play and the question now rest on the fact of what kind of attitude is one contributing to the growth of the marriage union?

It takes an extra work and love-nuturing for a husband and wife to grow beyond that point of just being a husband and wife to the point of being friends, lovers, companions, soul mates and even to a coddle-cosy-rosy union.

Such attitudes of selfishness, nagging, unloveliness, unromantic, insincere, greedy, procrastinating, disobedient, dirty, untruthful, argumentative, unfaithful; lacking wisdom, lacking discretion, having poor understanding ability, being too materialistic etc., All this attitudes kills marriage union. Illiteracy is the major factor that kill any organisation, because we all need knowledge either by studying through books, oral tuition or through learning from other peoples experience in order to grow our mental capacity, and when that knowledge is lacking then we are illiterate in that particular area. Therefore parents and guidance should concentrate more on building their children and wards more with Biblical and marital knowledge before giving them out in marriage to prevent offences before time. And young adults should make sure they read good number of marital books and books on psychology or human behaviour before going into marriage so as to be able deal with personal bad attitudes and to be able to face the challenges of your spouse’s attitude on the marriage journey.

A marital seed is nothing else than love. Love no matter how or where it is found needs the cooperation of both couples with sincerity and honesty of heart to see that this love grow. Love does not need the effort of one person to grow, it needs the conscious effort of giving and taking of love from both couples to see it grow because any love that is always coming from one person while the other is unlovely and unresponsive to the other’s love, such kind of love does not make sense. It is not sweet and it doesn’t last.

Every good marriage relationship has a good love relationship and every bad or struggling marriage relationship has a poor love structure. There is no way couples can build a happy marital union without first building a good love structure that will house or carry the marriage. The love serves not just as a foundation for the marriage but as the entire building for the marriage.

The best way to build love relationship is by first building a relationship with God. And because God is love, He gives us the in-flow of love into our hearts to share to others.

Secondarily, we follow God’s precepts of love building to love others and response to other’s love through the circle of God’s Commandment, by so doing we will build a long lasting marriage-love relationship.

Thanks so much for your time.

God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano.

The major cause of marital conflict is not the lack of love or respect but the lack of mutual understanding between both party. It is lack of understanding that makes a woman to nag, disrespect or be unsubmissive to her husband, it is also lack of understanding that makes a man to be unlovely and unfaithful to his wife and children.

When we don’t have a good grasp of a matter or the communication flow of the family falls to the shadow of harmony then the lack of understanding of the matter of communication will simply lead couples into acting in ways that will bring misunderstanding between them.

If we can be patient, ponder and verify to understand the reason behind every word, action, smile and anger of our spouse before responding negatively then our feedback response will not be za disagreeable and contentious but in conformity and harmony.

Mutual understanding has the tendency of bringing our negative and positive selves to the point of adoptability which final result invents the better version of us.

God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano

The issues of marriage are the issues of the heart. Once one’s marriage goes bad, the person also goes sick and sad. But a lovely marriage makes people happy and always smiling.

God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano

It is taught that men should arouse their wife with a good love-play (well kissing, sucking, caressing etc.) before penetration.
A lot of women who are into adultery is into it because their husband lack this skills. Many married women don’t just enjoy sex but only feels the pains.
Most times psycological factors, fears and shiness are the causes. Most women only just submits to their husband for sex but never surrenders to him for the sex, she retains deep within herself an area which she does not want him to touch, kiss or suck and when he makes romantic move to that area she rude him off, this is the major cause of the lack of pleasure. A co-operation of the body, soul and spirit of the couples will build them a happy, successful, marital harmony.
Couples should build their sexual intimacy so as to enjoy their sexual relationship to the maximum degree by surrendering themselves to each other for a real sexual experience.
Adultery is a great sin of death, couples should stay away from adultery.
If your spouse does not know how to do it better, then buy some tape or books that teaches about sex or seek for sex Counseling.
Thanks and enjoy your marriage life.

God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano

Whatever you think you need in marriage, don’t you think your partner also needs the same thing?
Give it to your partner, be it respect, passionate love, kisses, peace, intimacy, trust, chubbiness, good romance, sex, companionship, relaxation, keeping his/her secrets, etc, to your spouse. And you will see him/her returning the same or much more to you with time.

Therefore in all, patience, love, forgiveness, understanding, and tolerance are essential pillars that  keeps marriages and relationship standing.

God bless you greatly and remain heavenly focused.

Rev. Dominic Okechukwu Akano

A Lovely Marriage is not a Marriage where couples don’t quarrel but a Marriage where couples understands each other and tries their best not to offend each other and if they make mistakes, they settles their issues, forgives each other, love each other, understands each other’s strength and weakness better after each challenge and offers their willingness to positively impact one another and to meaningfully contribute to the success of the marriage.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton